ABTSRACT Relational reflexivity (RR) is an increasingly important aspect in order to understand the agency of individuals and the couple’s life, particularly in postmodern society. This mixed-methods research aimed to observe different dimensions of RR in 32 couples (25–40 years), married or cohabiting with at least one child, during the process of building the “we.” Quantitative instruments (Perspective Taking Scale, Couple Generativity Scale, Quality of Marriage Index) together with semi-structured interviews with the administration of projective instruments (the family line and IOS scale) were used to collect information about this process. With the first set of results, the couples were classified into 3 groups with different levels of relational reflexivity (high, medium, and low). Each group had specific dynamics and ways to deal with the challenges of life as a couple. The construction of the “we” was a common process for all of them influenced by structural elements (marriage, cohabitation number of children and relationship duration) but couples differed in their communication processes, social resources, intergenerational relationships and ways of managing stressors. This study provides an innovative assessment of couples, based on their reflexivity, and suggestions for the development of new kinds of intervention to foster couple reflexivity.

The article is an illustration, from a sociological viewpoint, of the epistemological and methodological scope of the relational approach to the study of the family. From this perspective (Section 1), the family can be identified as a social relationship of full reciprocity between sexes 1 and generations, to be neither replaced nor confused with anything else (family genome), thus highlighting the advantages of the relational approach compared to other contemporary approaches, defined as relationist/relationistic. Section 2 focuses on the Added Value of the Relational Method from logical, methodological and empirical levels. The main traits of the family research are to consider the family as a unicum and its relational and historical nature. The AGIL scheme helps to analyse the family as a suigeneris relationship by identifying its constitutive resources (A), aims (G), norms (I) and latent cultural model (L).

The aim of this research was to delineate how families with children aged 0–13 manage their well-being, which mainly depends on the balance between two main components, which are child-rearing and work. For the purpose of this study, family well-being is regarded, according to Archer’s morphogenetic theory, as the well-balanced order of family members’ ultimate concerns which gives rise to a sustainable modus vivendi for the whole family. To explain how a family establishes its own modus vivendi as a specific set of practices, Donati’s relational approach is used, based on the assumption that a relational reflexivity is what steers a family agency and its interaction with structural conditioning. Depending on different cultural and structural factors (financial resources, family form, geographical area of residence), families can be expected to adopt specific ways of life and derive their overall life satisfaction from different elements. The present article is aimed at verifying this hypothesis through a secondary analysis of data from the ISTAT Multipurpose Survey on Households: Aspects of Daily Life – 2012, including a sample of 3,745 families with children aged 0–13. Results show that the ways of life (modi vivendi) of families with children aged 0–13 vary significantly. Furthermore, satisfaction with work and with family relationships plays a key role in predicting overall life satisfaction, thus overshadowing the importance of the financial situation.