Accelerating urbanization and the intensifying pace of climate change have heightened the occurrence of urban pluvial flooding, threatening urban sustainability. As the preferred approach to urban stormwater management, coupled gray and green infrastructure (GI–GREI) integrates GREI’s rapid runoff conveyance with GI’s infiltration and storage capacities, and their siting and scale can affect life-cycle cost (LCC) and urban drainage system (UDS) resilience. Focusing on Fengxi New City, China, this study develops a multi-objective optimization framework for the GI–GREI system that integrates GI suitability and pipe-network importance assessments and evaluates the Pareto set through entropy-weighted TOPSIS. Across multiple rainfall return periods, the study explores optimal trade-offs between UDS resilience and LCC. Compared with the scenario where all suitable areas are implemented with GI (maximum), the TOPSIS-optimal schemes reduce total life-cycle cost (LCC) by CNY 3.762–4.298 billion (53.36% on average), rebalance cost shares between GI (42.8–47.2%) and GREI (52.8–57.2%), and enhance UDS resilience during periods of higher rainfall return (P = 20 and 50). This study provides an integrated optimization framework and practical guidance for designing cost-effective and resilient GI–GREI systems, supporting infrastructure investment decisions and climate-adaptive urban development.