Natural and man-made disasters significantly challenge the safety and stability of urban infrastructure (UI), disrupting daily operations and impeding economic development. However, existing research on urban infrastructure resilience (UIR) lacks comprehensive categorization of critical infrastructure, insufficiently considers the impacts of natural disasters, and offers limited empirical analysis of the interactions among the pressure, state, and response (PSR) dimensions. This study aims to establish a comprehensive UIR assessment index and examine the coupling coordination (CC) levels and critical obstacle indicators of PSR resilience across four Chinese municipalities. The results reveal that (1) response resilience is most influential on overall coupling and is more amenable to artificial interventions than pressure and state resilience; (2) generally, the CC levels of PSR in the four municipalities were relatively high, advancing from an inferiorly to an intermediately balanced development stage over the study period, highlighting effective strategies such as enhanced resource allocation and post-disaster recovery initiatives are recommended for adoption by similar cities; and (3) critical obstacle indicators impeding UIR development were identified, and targeted interventions were proposed based on each municipality’s unique characteristics. The research findings offer theoretical insights and practical implications for enhancing UIR from the perspective of utilizing CC and PSR models.